Inside the workings of …

26 Mar

My weird mind . Art journal .

Even if I don’t write each day , I doodle  something ..any thing and being messy is allowed,  so is making mistakes . That was the plan when I bought it , it would be a safe place  for me to go and just be me.  Some examples above.

I painted the cover ( originally navy )  when experimenting with some gold powder with water colour. The journal is Fabriano Artists journal , with really beautiful paper , fine quality ,  yet strong enough to take  water colour wash and inks . There are cream pages and white sections in this one .

Some things I take a little further .

IMG01470-20130326-1227

 

I keep forgetting ………..

1 Nov

to come and update this blog …….  So deeply sorry, it will not do.

I must amend the writing routine ( yet again )

Och well winter is moving in over the hills ,  chiselling a path  through the mountains ..shimmering icily  over the water  and clouding  over the sky in its  various hues of  various  grey .

I try not to dread this time and have intentions of buying a  special light alarm for  S.A.D.   so that is on my wish list .

But I wanted to say that  the above Humming Bird Heart ,  has sold , which was a great boost for me, ( a huge boost in fact )  the only down side being I dont know anything about who bought the picture ..and I  would love to know..

I have problems saying I am an artist,  because I dont consider myself to be one, its far to important a title in my perception , more than just a title its  a calling and conjures up images of the greats who were also visionary and highly skilled in all aspects of the realms of Art, in short I was encouraged  while I was growing up  to think of the word Artist,  equating  with Genius.

That is  a lot to live up to,  and its far easier to self defeat and fail,  before even trying,  when you are asked to be perfect and impossibly brilliant in the  budding stages of drawing and painting..  That silent yet permeable pressure of expectation from the adult world , that is first to criticise,  before there is even a hint of praise..

I know it is different now , very different .

So how do I overcome that feeling I have,  where I sabotage  what ability I do have before I have even fully explored it , especially by telling myself  it is too late to learn, I am self taught not trained and so on and on ..

But I sold something,  I have had lots of positive feed back from a recent exhibition I had some pieces in,   have another one booked to send to the USA and I know that with work and practise as with all things,  I will get better.

I have  just discovered in the last few weeks this  Artist /writer / illustrator Jackie Morris  please check out her beautiful works , books for children and more . I am particularly fond of the  Tigers and Wolves ..One day, very soon ,  I hope to piece together my words and images  and create something beautiful for a reader  to get lost within.

 

~To the  girls who bullied me in secondary school,  most especially in Art class,   my haven , or so I thought ………….

There are some things that people do  to you , that you do not comprehend and   you know at the time it happens,  it is so  filled with pain you  are numbed by it, disconnected in body and soul . But later you understand why  it was  so painful and you know, in so many ways you know the self ,  and in the knowing  you discover you  have the soul of the warrior.

Thank you for reading and for visiting this blog ..there will be more I promise ..I am in the cave now  collecting the colours …………….

Pains Paradox

1 Oct

Reblogged from Canopy in the Sunlight:

There is a certain magic in being alive.

A certain grace in living.

There is  no guarantee that it will be easy, or fun,

or even that you can do it.

You will fail.

It will hurt.

I keep coming back , in my over think mode, in my panic and  pain, to the best possible place I can be.

Read more… 230 more words

Words that should be shared

Tell me ~

11 Jun

What does it taste like 

when you drink it every day ,

yet know  it  has  no flavour 

to pin down 

Or describe. 

~

I know. 

It is the colour of familiar 

The hue of empty.

The tint of shadow.

 

 

~

What does it feel like 

when you have not felt

 in so long

Another’s skin 

that sweet  caress 

an eager seeking with the tongue

no embrace of belonging,  

A rightness of balance

 in being held

known

loved  

for who you are

~

What is it like 

To share the day 

In conversation. 

The simple things,   

the coffee cup, 

the pillow,

see how they shine 

more clearly  

as I point them out

for you,

 lit up  

by my longing,

just to be known, 

just to be 

 loved 

~




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